Exploring the Power of IFS and RLT: A powerful duo for transformation
As many of you know, I’m a huge fan of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) couples therapy.
IFS has been a game changer for me, helping both my clients (and me!) understand and embrace internal parts and finding the wise, compassionate, brave core essence inside - allowing us to heal, connect, and create more compassion both within ourselves and with others.
IFIO couples work is full of care and can be simply beautiful to learn to live relationally and communicate courageously.
I’m excited to share that I’m adding Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy (RLT) to my toolkit. I’m diving into RLT, currently in the midst of practicums and consultation - and on the therapist Certification track.
It’s such a clarifying, actionable approach to relationships, and it’s packed with so many practical tools that I can’t wait to bring to the table.
As a neurodivergent therapist working with many neurodivergent clients, I love how both models focus on communication, understanding and connection, helping couples clarify and validate neurodifferences, as well as looking at internalised ableism and other generational/cultural burdens..
IFS/IFIO and RLT all focus on healing and growth through awareness, courage and connection, relationship within and with another.
IFS looks at the multitude of parts within us and RLT also focuses on parts but simplifies them to 3: the Wise adult, warm, relational, flexible (Self!), the adapted child (all our managers and firefighters - who most of us think we are!) and the Wounded child (in IFS - our Exiles, the young ones who are so feelingful)
Both IFIO and RLT zoom out to look at the dynamics between individuals, guiding people through communication patterns, accountability, and emotional expression that foster healthier, more intimate relationships.
I love both models and they are compatible. Terry Real and Dick Schwartz have worked together for years and I recommend Terrys contribution to the IFS Talks podcast about his book, US.
What excites me about integrating RLT into my practice is its clarity and tools—it’s so practical and action-oriented, there’s a certain very precise, straight talking “care-frontation” which wakes up the clients to their maladaptive relationship dynamics which I think is great. As Terry says we’ve done a great job of helping people up from shame but a terrible job getting the mighty/grandiose/selfish to come down.
By combining both models or concentrating on one, we can address the internal landscape and the external dynamics—creating wholehearted healing and stronger relationships on every level.
So, what’s next?
I’m not back at work for another month yet, and my start will be staggered - but I will be offering both IFS/IFIO and RLT-Informed couples therapy.
Which of these frameworks appeals most to you?
Let me know your thoughts if that feels right and do be in contact from October if you’re looking for some couples sessions.
In the meantime I highly recommend reading the book US or taking some of the RLT courses on Relational Living, Boundaries and Self Esteem from https://relationallife.com/
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