Orienting before Intentions

January. Maybe you’re back at work. Maybe the kids are back at school. There’s a sense of everything revving up.

I don’t know about you but my body is asking for something very different. I can feel it saying pause. More rest. Don’t ramp up yet. It’s winter keep slow

So this is not a post about goals. I’ll write about Self-led intentions later in the month. For now, this is about welcoming ourselves into the year as we actually are. About orienting rather than striving

In Internal Family Systems language, orientation means noticing who is here inside us. Which parts have come with us into 2026. The tired - even exhausted, maybe burnt out ones. The hopeful ones. The anxious ones already scanning ahead. I’ve got one that’s very hypervigilant and stopping is dangerous. The parts that want to hide and scurry away. The parts that want to push, achieve, and get on with things

The invitation I’m offering for this month is simple. To notice. To check in. To listen. To come home to yourself. Before we do anything else this year, it feels important to come back here.

It is very much wintering time. Wintering is an old term, with roots in Old English, used to describe how people prepared for and moved through the cold months. Winter demands a much slower rhythm. In our lineages, people rested more and conserved energy. We’ve turned it on its head with the frenzy that is Christmas and with pressure to set new years goals. Ouch!

My body is asking me to do less, to slow down. To reduce my pace. To orient to the season I am actually in, both outside and inside. To restore and replenish. To let my nervous system drop into parasympathetic rest and digest. To allow my body to feel safe enough to exhale and restore

If your system has been whispering “less, please”, maybe we can listen together? 🤗

There is also a shift happening, I see it in many social media posts from people I follow . Unlike generations before us, who rested because that’s what they knew in their bones - we haven’t forgotten but have wandered off maybe from the path -and now we have more understanding now about consciously allowing rest, without agenda.. were remembering being rather than doing. About checking in with our bodies and with our parts - and we are learning to listen relationally too. The people we live with, work with, and spend time with. Can we rest with them? Truly rest? Can our nervous systems recognise peace rather than chaos in relationship?

We are beginning to honour the needs of our nervous systems. To choose relationships that support our health rather than undermine it. To choose emotional safety and alignment where we can Our closest relationships affect our sleep, our ways of being and our nervous systems. As imperfect humans, we can practise taking responsibility for the energy we bring into relationship and as much as possible, choosing homes and connections where rest is allowed, in being ourselves- in safe enough spaces

These wintering months are a time for being rather than doing. For staying with the not knowing. For allowing the darkness of winter to do its quiet work. Seeds do not rush underground. They rest. They wait. There is no need to force. No need to push our parts to change. No need to push our partners to change. Safety grows when we can be alongside ourselves and alongside others

So as we welcome and orient into 2026, maybe the most nourishing thing we can do is very little.

Notice which parts are asking for rest. For warmth. For gentleness. Maybe for company. Or maybe for solitude under a heated blanket, maybe with our furry friends. Non-human companions can be wonderful for soothing our nervous systems, and we can do the same for them too

Winter has its own wisdom. Let’s arrive. Let’s wait. Let’s replenish. Orientation rather than intentions for now.